By They say we don’t realize the value of peace until we’ve shared a bed with chaos in designer
heels. I once had peace — a simple, loving woman. The kind we often write off as kienyeji
because she wasn’t TikTok-ready or decked out in synthetic glam. But like many young men on
the rise, I ghosted her.
Why? Because I thought I was leveling up.
Turns out I was just walking deeper into emotional debt.
The Parable of the Diamond in Dust
She wasn’t flashy. She didn’t slay for the Gram. But she stood by me when I was broke, hopeful,
and still figuring life out. She cooked for me. She prayed for me. She loved me without
decoration.
I dumped her for someone shinier. A girl who looked like she came straight out of an Instagram
reel. And for a while, I convinced myself I was winning.
But I had traded a diamond in dust for glitter in mud.
The Cost of Impressing With Bottles
Today, I’m dating a campus girl — she’s younger, yes, but not by much. Just six years between
us. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but the mindset gap feels like a whole generation.
She has piercings, tattoos, and unapologetic standards. She doesn’t cook. Doesn’t clean. But
expects me to provide everything because, in her words, “Men are supposed to.”
And here’s the worst part:
I have to buy her expensive alcohol — at least twice a week — just to keep things smooth.
Why? Because that’s the impression I gave her from the beginning. I used bottles to win her
attention. Now, if I stop, I’m “falling off.”
I’m dating on maintenance mode. Paying subscription fees for affection.
When Trust Becomes a Shortcut to Loss
I know guys who gave their girlfriends house keys in the name of trust. One came home to an
empty apartment — TV, blender, cologne, even his boxers gone.
Another guy funded a birthday party only to discover she used the money to entertain another
man in a different county. He found out from Instagram stories.
It’s no longer about love. It’s about leverage.
The Battle of the Sexes: Misandry vs Misogyny
Let’s be honest. Modern dating feels like a cold war — men and women exchanging affection for
favors. Some women think men are walking ATMs. Some men think women are disposable.
We’re not building anymore. We’re negotiating.
And in the middle are good people — tired, heartbroken, emotionally numb — hiding pain
behind punchlines.
A Grandfather’s Warning
My grandfather once said: “Dear grandson don’t cut down the mango tree that gave you shade
just because a watermelon looked juicy.”
The woman I ghosted? She now dates women. Maybe it’s about preference. Or maybe she gave
up on men who mistook peace for plainness.
Either way, I lost something real.
Lessons I Learned the Hard Way
1. Don’t impress with what you can’t sustain.
2. Not every “fine” girl is wife material — some are subscription services.
3. Good things come in simple packages.
4. Ghosting someone genuine for superficial thrills will cost you more than you know.
5. Once you lose someone real, replacements just become distractions.
Final Thoughts: Real Regret Has No Expiry Date
I’m not writing this to shame anyone — just reflecting as a man who’s made mistakes. If you’re
dating from ego instead of honesty, slow down.
Because one day, you’ll look back and realize:
That kienyeji girl with the quiet love was more rare than anything you're chasing today.
And nothing haunts a man more than realizing he was the villain in someone else’s peaceful story.
