By by William odhiambo
The Pressure to Provide Is Killing Our Mental Health
For generations, men have been raised to believe that their value lies in what they can offer: money, security, stability. The traditional masculine ideal teaches that being a “real man” means providing for one’s family, no matter the personal cost. However, the emotional and mental toll of this expectation is rarely discussed.
Many men silently struggle under this weight. Financial stress, job insecurity, and the burden of constantly appearing strong can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, and burnout. The pressure to provide is no longer just about income—it has become entangled with male identity. When men cannot meet these expectations, it can feel like a personal failure rather than a reflection of systemic challenges or temporary hardship.
Although mental health awareness has grown in recent years, men remain less likely to seek help or talk about their emotional struggles. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (2024), men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women, highlighting a tragic and persistent silence. This silence stems from outdated beliefs that vulnerability equates to weakness, leaving men without safe spaces to process or express their emotions.
We must begin to challenge and reframe this narrative. Being a provider should not mean sacrificing one’s health, peace, or personal fulfillment. Providing can—and should—include emotional availability, empathy, partnership, and presence, not just financial support. Men should be encouraged to speak openly about their struggles, without fear of judgment or stigma.
Mental health is a vital part of overall well-being. When men are allowed to be human—not just providers—they thrive. Breaking free from these restrictive roles starts with honest dialogue, community support, and a cultural shift in how we define strength and success. Asking for help is not a sign of failure—it is an act of courage and resilience.
References
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (2024). Suicide statistics. https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics
